Funny Kids

My oldest was very talkative over breakfast this morning. Although I kept saying eat more, talk less, the conversation left me with my day's worth of chuckles.

1). "Mom, remember that boy that was my boyfriend in Kindergarten? He's goes to my school again."

"GREEEAAATTT".... I say. This is the boy that she was sent to the Principal's office for kissing. Yep, planted one on his cheek and off to the office she went.

"Mom! Why would you say great? I don't think he's a very good boy anymore. In fact, I think he steals stuff! I bet when he's older, he'll steal an entire banquet!"

"A what?"

"Really, a banquet, the whole thing!"

2). This is what I overheard between the two girls...

Dumping out her water bottle the oldest explains to the younger, "I have to dump this out. It's old, like from 1890. It's no good."

My DSL has been down for a week. I don't intend to neglect the blog forever, but I can only steal so much time at work!

When will they ever learn?

Today has been an interesting day- in the "why did I sign up for this?" sense.

Sometimes I wonder about the kids I teach. How have they made it to high school? Where has the system failed? But is it the system?

In the morning, students have 15 minutes to go to lockers and such before the first period bell rings. My class was full with just seconds before the bell, when one of my kids was paged over the intercom to report to the office. He says, "Finally!" gets his books together and starts toward the door. I say, "*Fred,* are you not coming back?"

No, I just came for 6 A.M. baseball practice.

Hmm, you can get up extra early for baseball, but school... nah!

*Name changed to keep me out of trouble :)

Lost

Ahhh.... you came to my blog expecting my deep thoughts on LOST, but alas, I'm very pregnant and couldn't even stay awake through the long awaited season premiere. But I do still have plenty to say about things lost. "I can't find you," I say to my stuff. "Please come find me instead!"

My youngest daughter is in first grade. She's supposed to bring home her reading book everyday. Yesterday, as I picked her up from school I realized it wasn't in her bag. "Where's you book, hon?"

"Oh, I left it in my class."

Ok. I can take care of this. Most teachers have already left her school by now, but I can make a way. I go through the back gate, into the playground, and through a back door which is usually left open. I trudge the first grade wing to her room and flick on the light. We look through her desk, and the cubby. No book. "Where is it?"

"Oh, I remember, I left it at home."

ARRRGGG! OK, could be. Now, keep in mind that we've been out of school for an entire week for weather. It could be anywhere. ANYWHERE.

So, we go home, we look, and look, and look. Nowhere to be found. I start praying for the book to show. She starts crying for the book to show and then it comes to her...

"Oh, I remember, it's in my desk at school."

ARGGGG!! Again.

This morning, we're rushing around packing up lunches, backpacks, getting coats... "Honey, get your coat on."

"I can't find it."

WHAT?!! The brand new coat? The one to replace the last lost coat?

"I bet it's in the car, Mom." No such luck.

"I know where it is, Mom, I left it outside on the playground."

Perfect. Lovely. Great.

Just another couple of items in the land of lost. If my girls were any older, I may be in a state of panic over the fact that they loose clothing items regularly. I mean any mother asking her daughter, "where did you leave your pants?" is generally indicative of trouble. If we get there anytime soon... I'll die.

'Tis the Season

Thanks to my friends for suggesting I speak about Christmas at FCA today. That was my plan, but I really didn't know what about Christmas I should focus on. Here's what I decided on.

I took in two wrapped Christmas presents and spoke about the tradition of giving gifts.

First, I talked about giving gifts and asked what we really have to offer to Jesus. The wise men brought Jesus frankincense, but what can we give since Jesus isn't physically here? I had someone open one of two Christmas gifts I wrapped, and of course it was empty. I suggested this is what most of us offer the Lord for Christmas.

Then I went to Revelations 5 and read about the incense in the bowls before the Lord were actually the prayers of the saints. So our prayers are something that we have to offer up, but how selfish or thoughtless is our prayer life? So, then we opened gift number two.

In the box I had 50 different names of God or attributes of God written on little squares of paper. I had enough so that every kid could take a square. I asked them to pray thoughtfully about what was on that square that they took. I also challenged them to pray everyday between now and Christmas, which is only 21 more days, focusing on a different attribute each day.

In all your shopping, baking, wrapping, holiday partying, what do you offer the Lord? If you're trying to think of a way to keep Christ as the center of Christmas this year, commit to the challenge with us. If you're having trouble coming up with 21 names or attributes of God, do a simple Internet search; you'll find plenty!

If you do this even for one day, let me know how it goes. What other ways do you keep your Christmas heaven centered? Can't wait to hear your ideas.

How Things Go

Today was back to business. School flew by, nothing outlandish happened, and for me that's an accomplishment. I actually was greeted at the door of my room by a friend this morning who inquired about my Thanksgiving by asking, "What? It was good? Nobody hurt, sick, or dying in your house?"

THAT is just how this year has gone. If things are going right, then something must be wrong... we just don't know about it yet.

So, I made it through the day entire day and I was trying to make it out the door before my luck turned when a boy who I don't recognize as one of my students approaches. I'm thinking he's lost, I'll just send him on his way and be gone, but no.

"Hi, Mrs. Kelly. I was wondering if you'd be able to speak at FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) on Thursday?"

Gulp. "Um... This Thursday?"
"Yes."

"And today is Tuesday?"
"Yes."

Wow, that's some kind of notice. And it escapes before rational thought has even been processed, "Sure, I can do that."

See, I was totally caught off guard. For the last three years, I've been asked really at the very end of the school year. I figured, teachers get asked in order of likability, wisdom, athleticism all of which I'm not in the top ten for, so to the end of the list I go. So, being asked before Christmas break almost made me choke on my own spit.

What in the world am I going to speak on?! Last year, funny enough, I spoke on the I Peter passage about trails, detailing some of my own that had happened between December and when I was speaking in late April. Here's the short version.

December 22, 2007 -married (GOOD)
January 22, 2008- bi-lateral pneumonia (Bad! hospital one week, out of work for four weeks)
February 2008- all of us have strep (not good)
- my fairly new tires shred, leaving us stranded a ways from home (stressful)
March 2008- Husband struck in a hit and run accident. Car totaled. (terrible)
April 2008- I sprain my ankle, end up in walking boot (not fun).

And honestly, there were a few more things in that list, but really, you get the point. So, I went through that list to say, not that I'm a martyr, but that bad things do happen to Christians. We live in a fallen world, and were not promised an easy life. Then I did focus on the blessings and the way God had shown himself through all that mess.

I just don't think I should continue on that message. Although, after having hyperemesis, I sure do feel the trial theme continuing. After all, not every pregnant woman looses 25 pounds in the first four months of pregnancy due to excessive up-chucking! Not every woman needs a picc line just to get IV fluids every night or a medicine pump for a constant flow of anti-nausea medicine. I think if I mention any of that, the students will officially rename me Mrs. Job.

So, pray that I can pull something together and pray that there aren't anymore disasters added to this list for 2008. We're good for this year. (NO, I'm not tempting fate!).

P.S.- Leave some comments if you have any ideas! Or condolences for such a rough year.

Only in Rhea County

Only in Rhea County, Tennessee, does this constitute a snow day.
Now look carefully, you may be able to count the flakes!

This is what the ground looked like at 7 A.M. here on the mountain where the roads are certainly the most treacherous. I know. Treacherous?

Not that I'm complaining. I love this about living in the south. One flake and it's automatically a blizzard. Schools are out more often for snow here than they are in places like Michigan I'm sure, and the funny thing is they actually get... SNOW.

So, what in the world am I doing up taking pictures out the window at seven when I could be snuggled up in my warm bed? Well, here's how the morning went.

6:05 Beep, Beep, Beep- Me hitting snooze, realizing that it didn't get cold enough to freeze. DARN!

6:10 Ring, Ring, Ring- Me running to the phone... this could be one of two things.
A). Someone has died or been seriously injured. (not desirable)
B). Schools are closed after all.
Me- Let it be good. Please, please, please. - "Hello?"
Yes! It was B.
Now, here I go, off to turn off my alarm. Almost in bed when I think about the kid's clocks, better get them, too. I run downstairs and as I get about to the kitchen, my cell phone starts ringing.

6:12 Choices... Clocks or phone? I go for clocks letting voicemail pick up the automated message that's coming in. I get the girls' clocks turned off successfully and head back upstairs, to turn the beeping reminder off my cell for the sake of my sleeping husband. I figure, I'm up I may as well go to the potty now and rebrush my teeth. I can't fall back asleep with bad breath; it's so distracting!

6:20 Back in bed, fresh breath, bladder satisfactory. Getting warm again. Thank you Lord for this relaxing day I get to spend at home. RING, RING, RING!!!

6:25 Up again to the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi. This is a duplicate message that was originally sent out at 6:10 A.M..." Me hanging up, thinking, I got up again for that? I have some foresight here. I go get my cell phone expecting that a duplicate call will come to that number as well.

6:30 Me thinking, well I guess they aren't sending that duplicate message. I can finally go back to sleep.....

6:35 BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ! I should have just turned the phone off, vibrate is still enough to wake me up. Grrr!

Four wake-up calls just to tell me I can sleep in! What's up with that?

For the next 25 minutes I try to ignore the baby saying FEED ME! Because I so want to sleep while my girls are still sleeping.

7:00 Me giving in. Pregnancy requires eating. I go get cereal... quietly, maybe the girls will sleep in.

The girls did sleep until almost eight. Until Noel yelled, "EVERYBODY WAKE UP!"

"SHHH!" I hush from the couch.

"But we're going to be late for school," she whisper yells.

It's too late, she's woken Addison. They, like the rest of the south, can't believe the blizzard we've had. It must be played in.

Noel- "Mom, Can I use this trash can lid to go sledding?"

Me trying not to laugh at her for thinking this is sled worthy.
"Sorry honey, not today."

Our Opossum History

My husband and I are still considered newly weds, but as we near our one year anniversary we've been mindful of our awesome history. We met in seventh grade as gangly, self-conscious band geeks. We did not exactly fall in love at first sight, but by the time we were 16 we were the icky gooey sweethearts. So, history is something we've got plenty of. And history is only as good as the story teller, so here goes...

You remember the phase in a relationship where you feel that you have something to prove? The phase where you need prove that unlike other people, you don't do embarrassing things like burp, trip over your own feet, or heaven forbid -fart. Well thankfully, although guys don't need to prove that stuff, they do need to prove that they can be your hero. My dear man proved all his heroism as he battled a wild opossum.

We were watching a movie when I thought I heard something out in my garage. I went to check it out through the window, and didn't see anything, so returned to couch. Upon hearing something again, I sent the man to investigate. As he stood at the window, staring through the curtain, I could tell by the inflection in his voice that the night was about to get interesting.

"What! What is it? What's wrong?"

"Just look." he says.

Remember the R.O.U.S. from the Princess Bride? You remember them. They were the rodents of unusual size that were so ridiculous, but still horrifying as they attacked sweet Wesley. THAT is what was staring back at me! Directly at eye level on my shelves of garage-ish stuff, all I could see were beady eyes, whiskers, snarled teeth, and the biggest rat-like tale ever. Ok, so really it was a fairly standard issue opossum, but those things are nasty. They hiss, they snap teeth, and make a total mess of your trash cans.

We quickly started formulating our plan for how to deal with the beast, and I spoke up to rule out pepper spray. My last opossum encounter that I tried to deal with on my own with the pepper spray I left hanging by the door for late night intruders ended with me partially blind, coughing up a lung, and calling a neighbor who owned a gun to put the opossum out of his misery.

The plan we came up with together was clearly SO much better. It involved a long stick, a butcher knife, and a shoe string. You may be wondering why not just wait it out and wait for the animal to leave, but that just didn't suit me. So, my then needing to be heroic boyfriend went jousting for opossum. It was messy, but darn it all we won! Broke the knife, snapped the shoe string, but also killed the opossum.

So, that's what did it. His heroic status well earned, I knew this man would do anything for me. And that's the kind you want!

*Please note, I love animals but feel satisfied that I'm within my rights to defend my home from invaders!

Why the Cotton Opossum

No, I do not have a strange affinity toward one of the ugliest creatures in all creation. The cotton opossum is a symbol for everything that does not turn out right. I'm sure the golden monkey, the rat, and the tiger from your Chinese takeout menu are more recognizable as symbolic animals, however, in our house all we have to say is "cotton opossum," and it becomes clear that something is messed up!



The year of the cotton opossum, 2008, of course was not forecast as the grand year of disasters. Everyone (whom I would like to meet some day) says the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I did not realize that included just trying to stay alive. After our one month anniversary was spent with me in the ICU, and several other grand disasters, it became clear that this was going to be an exciting journey as husband and wife.



It was after I was home and able to bathe myself again, and therefore not reek, that my loving husband inhaled deeply and said, "Wow, you smell good! What is that?" Rather than hearing my simple answer of Cotton Blossom, he half fell over with what he understood to be Cotton Opossum. And of course we DO have a history with opossums, which made my decision to wear the vial animal's line of fragrance incomprehensible.



"Cotton Opossum!? What?" he said. And in that moment Cotton Opossum summed up the way this year was going.



Close, but all wrong.