Out of Order

Today I had to go here.

When I opened D'arcy's car door I found this.

She had gotten into the diaper bag that I had sitting in between her car seat and her older sister's. She managed to pull out a small can of formula and pull off the lid emptying its entire contents onto the seat and in between the door and seat.

Thankfully this was next door.

Genius! Whoever thought to put a car wash next to a pediatrician's office must have had a kid or two get sick in transit. Perfect!

Only one problem. NOTHING worked. I noticed a large lake in one stall (you can see in the photo if you squint just right). And then, I saw the big huge for sale sign. Boo.

So, now the formula powder is probably making milk fumes in my car as we speak.

One More Round

I've been sick for five weeks. FIVE.

Since I felt like I was getting worse rather than better I went back to the doctor again today.

I was prescribed the strongest oral antibiotic that you can take orally. I was given a coupon with the prescription note because as the nurse said, it's was expensive.

I was thinking ok, it's going to be a twenty-five dollar co-pay, rather than the five I usually spend for the regular kind of antibiotic.

I was right, it was twenty-five which wasn't too bad, but I was shocked to see that the full price without insurance would be $152... for five pills. REALLY!? I mean I want to feel better and all, but what is this I'm buying? CRACK?

I'm so thankful to have insurance, and I feel so sorry for people who can not get insurance for whatever reason.

Seeds

Yesterday was beautiful! I even got a sunburn during my lunch break. It was fantabulous.

I was so inspired by the warmth and sunshine that I started my garden. I've never had a garden before, so I'm very excited to see how it all turns out. I started onions and roma tomato seeds in a miniature greenhouse like this (mine is bigger). We'll see how it turns out. I got a tad impatient counting out seeds. You're only supposed to put 2-3 seeds per pellet of dirt. I'm sure some of my pellets have about 10. I'm guessing that might not work out so well...

I also got some lettuce plants which I planted right into my flower bed. HA! Ornamental lettuce for dinner anyone? I'm interested to see how that looks. Tulips and Romaine. NICE! I planted a cherry tomato plant in a pot, and I got a strawberry plant for the girls. If they get one strawberry a piece out of it, I'll be pleased.

Consistency

Friday it was about 70 degrees. Today it was snowing. This back and forth happens every spring, and every spring I'm aggravated by the lack of consistency. I was thinking back on my yearly frustration this morning, and I had to laugh at myself.

1. What will my frustration change? NOTHING.

2. How can I be upset at lack of consistency when I myself have none. Yep, NONE. Well, maybe a little. Give me a minute to waffle back and forth on that answer.

So, this spring I am going to try something different. Rather than complain, or in my head curse the cold snaps, I'm going to be counting them down with thanks. In January I would have been glad to have dogwood winter, blackberry winter, and all the other spring cold snaps that coincide with things blooming. Therefore, I am going to be happy for them in March and April. We have to have the dogwood winter to enjoy the blooms, so here we go... One cold snap down, and a lot more to go.

Willows

Why do willows weep? They make me so stinkin' happy! Weeping willows are always the first tree with green in the spring. Then the Bradford pear trees aren't far behind. You know what I saw today? A GREEN willow tree!

I will take thank you comments below as I just put in a request for spring several days ago.

You're welcome.

Need for Spring

For four weeks, my husband has been sick. For two weeks, the baby has been back and forth to the doctor. For three weeks, I've been fighting- kicking and screaming- to not get more sick.

I NEED SPRING!

I need to open all the windows and feel the warm air and cool, fresh breeze.

I need to spring clean and get all the germs out!

I need some sun and warmth so all these colds will go away!

Oh, and I need some flowers... The kind that are free in my yard are the best.

A Glimpse

Yesterday held much drama in our house including jumping up from the dinner table to give the Heimlich maneuver to my oldest daughter, and then later in the evening the kitchen faucet detached itself and shot like a rocket across the kitchen spraying water as its contrail all the way into the living room. With all that mess, it was a couple of little things, not big events, that really made an impression on me and made me think about how God feels.

First, I was in the bank and the teller was going over and beyond the call of duty to find the color of sucker my girls wanted. She was digging down to the bottom of the box for orange, and she didn't have to do that at all, she was just being nice. I made sure the girls told her thank you, and about that time, the man at the teller next to me, was just being rude! He said, "Well today would be good. I don't have all the time in the world." I know people do this kind of thing all the time especially to people who work in customer service, but I would never, NEVER say that to someone. She was obviously doing her job as quickly as she could do it. He was leaning into what I would consider her space, so he knew she wasn't sitting at her computer playing solitaire. How could he think that his rudeness would help her in any way? What would that accomplish for him? Did it make him feel better to get his thoughts out in the open? By the look on his face, I don't really think so.

I was driving down the road, pondering these questions when a driver stopped at a stop sign caught my attention. As big as life he flipped me off, gave me the finger, shot me the bird! And then, waved his hand as if to say, "Hurry it up lady! I don't have all day!" I looked at my speedometer and I was going five miles an hour OVER the speed limit. I was going as fast as I felt I could go, all-be-it, 35 isn't that fast. At this point I started thinking about how everyone is in such a hurry that they just totally discount other people's feelings. It's all about the personal agenda, and what's not getting done because other people are getting in their way.

I again, began to think about how I would never treat someone like this, but that's when it hit me. I think I just got a glimpse of my ugly nature, not toward other people, but toward GOD! How terrible is that? No, I'm not cursing God ever, or just demanding, but I so often get caught up in my own agenda and why things aren't happening on my schedule. But God does things as quickly as they need to happen; He's not up there playing solitaire! He knows I want to go, do, and get things accomplished, but sometimes His schedule and mine aren't in sync. I wonder if He ever says, "Lorissa, I know you're in a hurry, but your negative attitude isn't going to move this along any faster."

So, I can just be in the bank and wait patiently. I can drive down the road and wait for the lady going the speed limit (OK, five over). Can I wait for my Lord to work? I'm sorry that sometimes I'm the one telling Him to get on with it, when he knows and is doing the best for me already. Logically, it makes no sense to be trying to hurry God along. It's just too bad that most people are guilty of this, and it made me sad to think that I make God feel the way that man in the bank made the teller feel, or the way the man at the stop sign made me feel. What an glimpse of ugliness. Now THAT is why we need Jesus.

For the Moms of the Chronically Ill

Last Friday was spent taking Baby D to the doctor. An antibiotic and steroid later, and she was still very ill. Yesterday was spent taking her back to the doctor. A breathing treatment, and inhaler later, we were able to come back home. I waited for my appointment at 4, for which I arrived at 3:40, until 5 to see the doctor. We weren't out of there until 5:30. That put me in rush hour traffic, yay. I had to go to two different pharmacies in two different towns. I didn't get home until 8 P.M.

Did I mention I left the house that morning at 6:50 A.M.? That's a long time to be out!

After getting home, I still had to give the baby two puffs of albuterol, and the effects were mind-blowing! If only I could contain that much energy into such a tiny tube and partake whenever necessary! Here is evidence of her energy. It is blurry because she was jumping uncontrollably.

But all of this is to say that I feel so sorry for all the moms who deal with chronically ill children every day. I know several moms who have children that require a lot of medical attention, and my heart just goes out for them. I'm sure you come to a new normal, but I'm exhausted after just a few days, much less after every day. God bless your efforts on behalf of your children.

Oscar

You say Oscar. I say Mayer.

Everyone is all a buzz with which actor will win what. Who is wearing whom? The speeches, the honors, the passed over is all crammed into three hours. It's like Junior High all over again.

I remember the first time I went shopping for TIGHT jeans. I believe I was in forth grade. I got the smallest possible size I could sit comfortably in, and then got the next size down off the rack before I let mom see for the final approval. "Nope, too tight," she said.

But MOM, that's the style. I can't be seen wearing jeans that look comfortable, or that might still fit in a couple months! I need the tightest, painted on looking, lay on the bed to zip jeans I can get. I guess looking back I can be thankful that I had a mom who was looking out for me when I was too foolish to know that you need to be able to breathe in your clothes. Obviously, not all girls have that, and it makes me sad for them.

I've been shopping for prom dresses (Yes, I'm 30 and going to prom. What's your point?) And I'm pretty picky about what I'll be seen in. There is no red carpet, there are no cameras to speak of, and certainly no teenager cares what I look like, but I care! So, how do these girls not rethink some of these Oscar fashions? I don't really care about the awards since I won't see the movies until they come out on Netflix! So here is my fashion review for 2010.

Well, by mine, I mean somebody else's but I would have said the same thing!

Hope- The Antithesis of Cynicism

My baby girl is very sick. She has the croup and is just miserable, which as a mom is one of the worst feelings. You know there is really nothing you can do, but what you can do, and when that's not enough and they are still miserable, you can only hope and pray that this will pass quickly for everyone's sake!

Pray and hope. Hope and pray. It sounds trite, but really I'm working on learning to hope again. I've been through a lot in the last ten years. A lot of life has been packed into my early adult years, and you know when you're packing that means you'll be carrying around baggage. In my cynical mind, I've become self sufficient because it's just easier to not get disappointed. If you never hope for anything, you're never let down when nothing happens. BUT THEN NOTHING HAPPENS!

My husband is fairly miserable with his job situation. It's taking him away from the family a lot, it's an hour drive each way, and it's not as if he's driving for killer pay. Cynical me would be so wrapped up in the fact that this is probably as good as it's going to get, but I'm holding on to hope that the Lord has something fantastic in store for him. God can do this! Yes, the job market is depressed, and we're thankful to have jobs, but God can do this.

God can heal. God can provide. Hope and pray. Pray with hope.

UPDATE!!

Within an hour of this original posting, my husband called to say that he has a new position within the same company with fixed hours of 8-5 M-F. Praise the Lord!

Party of Five

On any given school day, here is my schedule.

I wake up at 5:20-5:30 depending on how many times I smack the snooze button.
Hit the shower right after I get the coffee going. I get out and get dressed. In our house, that usually entails me hunting in the dark and trying to let my husband sleep.

6 a.m. I wake up the two biggest girls, get breakfast going for them and dry my hair.

If the hairdryer doesn't wake up the baby, I get her up and give her a bottle and some cereal. When she's in her highchair, I do whatever else I need to to get out of the house.

7 a.m. Load up the car.

7:15 School drop off
7:30 Babysitter drop off
7:50 Frantically rush into my school to sign in and get ready for first period which starts at...
8:00 a.m - 3:00 p.m. I'm in teaching mode.
At 3:00, the taxi service is up and running again.
3:15 get big girls
3:30 get little girl.
4:00 home! change clothes, get girls a snack, and start supper.

We eat early so I can get everyone bathed and in bed.
from 4:30- 5:30, it's homework, piano practice and stories of the day.
5:30- eat
After that, we clean up what we can and leave the rest undone. Boo for that.

7:00 Bath time for kids
7:30 Bed time for baby
8:00 bed time for big kids
9:00 I'm either asleep or getting some cleaning done.

THIS is why I LOVE SUMMER.

In the summer, I have no schedule!

Prayer Power

True confession time. I've been a lazy prayer for a while. Just snippets here and there as things came to mind, but seriously neglecting the devoted prayer. In my head, I thought that was OK because after all, I was praying in a way that was unceasing. However, our Sunday school class has been reading Paul Millers, A Praying Life, and I've been very convicted about my wrong thoughts on prayer.

1. As a believer in predestination (I know many people struggle or just discount this idea, but hear me out), I kind of just came to have the attitude that things were going to happen the way they were going to happen regardless.

2. Praying without ceasing meant an on-going, but not devoted chunk of real time.

3. Praying without ceasing meant I could multi-task. Wash my hair and pray, wash my dishes and pray, wash my car and pray- you get the idea.

4. The Holy Spirit- who intercedes on our behalf could just pray for me. I'm tired!

Now, I'm learning what I was missing!

1. Prayer changes things! I'm thinking predestination is one of those "too lofty for me to understand" topics, but if nothing else, praying about things can at least change our attitude about what's going on and give us grace to deal with it. I do think however, that prayer can change things and we can't just wait for our fate.

2. As Miller says, you can't build a relationship on sound bites. AMEN!! It's like I've been texting God. He's got more for me than a text or tweet size message. THANK YOU, LORD!

3. Yes, I can pray while I'm doing all my washing, but I don't really get that stillness that my soul needs. I need both! OH, and God wants time with me and my little text-style relationship is leavin' Him in the cold.

4. YES, the Holy Spirit is willing and able to intercede, but that doesn't get me off the hook. That's like my children always asking me to tie their shoes. I CAN, and I'm willing, but I can't follow them around for the rest of their lives helping them tie their shoes now can I? I would be handicapping them to deal with life.

So, my analogies and examples my be lack luster, but they make sense to me. I'm praying more, and I'm already seeing the difference. Normally, the morning is about the worst time EVER. The kids who by lunch can be best friends are picking each other apart like vultures. This morning, I prayed for each of them by name and concentrated on their weaknesses. OH MY GOODNESS! THE GRACE and MERCY that FILL MY HOME!! How exciting!